Balancing marriage and parenting life!
Let me give you a back story first. When Mike and I first started dating, all my attention and time after work are for him. Since during that time Nathan was in Texas with my mom and aunt because I was traveling for work (hence, how Mike and I met). He would drop me off and pick me up to work most days of the week when I am working first shift, then we go back to my hotel, make dinner, cuddle on the couch while watching a movie after dinner. We went on vacations together and we got each other's full attention. But didn't last for a long time since I already have Nathan before we met. When we decided I stop traveling for work and settle down in MA, we picked up Nathan (who moved to Colorado with my mom to my other Aunt, yes he moved a lot too! Good thing is he doesn't have a memory of it and he hated the long drives). Anyways, since then, I have been trying to balance being a girlfriend back then and a mom. Since my mom used to live with us, she helped a lot in taking care of Nathan. However, when come home from work, I take over my responsibilities as a mom to Nathan by spending time with him, giving him a bath, feed him dinner, etc. Mike also helped and he's in fact much more hands on to Nathan than I am. So we understand that time is very important to us and doing things together as a team. Maybe that's why we have a great teamwork and I'm not saying this from a bragging point but from a humble point rather. It wasn't as hard to balance time between my then boyfriend and my son because at night, we all cuddle and watch a movie together as a family, and Mike and I still get to go on a date night. Fast forward a couple of years later, he proposed to me and we got married shortly after the engagement and had our first baby together (my second baby) Sophia. Mike as being who he is, is very hands on to Sophia as well. He was the one getting up in the middle of the night to tend to Sophia. We decided I will stay at home so I can take care of our children. Here's how we balance and manage our life responsibilities as parents:
1. During the day, I have the kids so it's mommy duties. From the time I get up - I make breakfast, do household chores, play with the kids, relax by watching a movie together, then put them to nap. Play again, then clean up the play room before daddy gets home.
Piggy back ride!
He said he is strong enough to carry his sister :)
together in the playroom :)
2. Daddy duties. When Mike gets home from work, he take over daddy duties. He spend time with the kids while I relax for a little bit. Then we often make dinner together, it used to be him all the time, then for a little bit, it was all me. But we usually make dinner together now while the kids are in the play room playing either minecraft or with their toys.
after a long day of work!
this tree and the kids wants a photo on it before he completely pull it all out from its roots!
He also takes Nathan
shooting with him on boys day out!
This is what fun is for them :)
3. We do things together. As ridiculous as it sounds, when my appointment is like a half hour drive, I usually ask my husband to drive me. It's not that I can't drive, it's the opportunity for us have at least one hour (back and forth of the ride) together as a couple. Just chat, and hold hands while driving. These are little things we don't ignore. If we don't get a babysitter, then we take the kids with us and eat out afterwards then it's family time.
is where home is!
our kids to help with yard work too!
4. Date nights. Having two kids and balancing work and life is kinda tricky. We don't often get to go out on date nights. We need to make arrangement with family to see whose available to watch the kids. Good thing our family live within 15 minutes away. We try to go on date nights as much as we can but let's face it, life happens. So instead of going out, we often stay in and watch a new movie together after the kids are in bed. Even if this means late night, it still count as a date night!
out for dinner and drinks! :)
5. Me time! This is just a bonus though it's also super important. I have read a lot of blogs about moms/dads who lost their identity since they got married and became parents. That's a different story, maybe I will blog about this topic next time. Anyways, even we just started dating, Mike and I recognize that we also need a "me time". Although we are nearly inseparable since we first started dating, we still let each other socialize with friends old and new. I go on Girl's night out with my friends, and he usually go have fun at the range with his guy friends, or go beer brewing with co-workers, etc. He would let me go travel by myself and meet with friends from halfway around the world both Domestic and International.
wanna have fun! GNO!
and explore to feed your curiousity!
This is us and this is what works for us. It may or may not work for others. However, I can confidently say that we have a healthy balance marriage and parenting life. Time is very essential. I always tell my husband, we don't have time, we make time. We figure things out as we go and we do our best to determine our priorities. It's not always on point, and sometimes it's frustrating when we have a lot in our plates to manage time but, hey do what works for you. Know your priorities and set them in order. The hard part about that though is, sometimes we feel like everything is of high priority, but I believe there is always higher than the higher priority, if that makes sense. If you ask my son Nathan what is our priority in life in general, here's what he will say:
I hope you enjoyed reading this post. Let me know how do you balance work, life, marriage/relationship, parenting (kids, furbabies, pets) life in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you! Until next post!